Utopia for Cynics

Rosalie lived in fear that her book burning club would find her secret stash of Tiger Beat magazines.

Graham’s refusal to jump on the photography bandwagon made him the slowest paparazzo in the pack.

Herbert could never seem to remember the first rule of pick-pocketing: You don’t ask first.

Albertus impressed his date by using his new navigation system to find the closest Ruby Tuesday’s. 

“So you’re saying you guys have been here all along, and all this is kind of like your land? Huh.”

Bertram’s plan to camouflage his extraordinarily long neck seems to have backfired. 

There was something about the way his troops referred to him as “Captain Fabulous” that made Wilmur think it was not a compliment.

Emily couldn’t wait to tweet about her father’s lame attempt at “Gold Digger”.

While the flight attendants were busy flirting with the co-pilot, countless passengers were using their electronic devices during taxi, takeoff and landing.

Edgar’s confidence in his edible, environmentally-friendly mushroom hat meant that he was willing to wait out his detractors.